dbodenheim
04-04-2005, 10:23 AM
I am writing this guide for my brother who has a problem TK'ing on office. Office is all about timing, knowing who, where, what , and when things around you are happening. There isnt much room for variable in office and strategy often outweighs raw skill. That being said, the rest of the guide is a joke for the rest to enjoy. Notice it says Ak-47 guide ( who wants to be on the losing team anyway!)
0-15 seconds--- outfit yourself with an Ak-47 and make your way from spawn, past the elevaters, and down the garage staircase. Ass-bump folks who arnt running with their guns out, time is crucial! If your lucky you will run across a really eager noob who thinks he can beat you up the stairs. Headshoot him and countinue on, unhindered.
Distractions: During this first few seconds 1-2, B-RAD Gluckmans will be chit-chatting on the mike with things like "yo...dawg, gonna get me some, this round yo." The other B-RAD will respond, "werd." This will irratate SSP-Redy who will shout " NOvoicespammingthemikeduringgameplaytime." He is angry though and speaking to fast. No one understands him. :( If Atomic Bob is on your team you may hear, " Lets do this one for the Gipper."
15-30 seconds--- the duel is on.... You've rounded the corner and see no one. Dont be fooled, CT's arnt going to give up garage that easily. There is a 50% Jwolly2 will pop his head around the corner. His m-4 makes a lot of noise but your well controlled AK is more powerful. Wound him and drive him off. There is also a 25% chance SSP - Phyxius will be crouched in the corner. If your a new player, congratulations on your 30 second round of office. Its over. If your a veteran, your both seriously wounded and pissed off.
Distractions-- Phyxius's bullets.
30-45 seconds-- hang out in this area if your not too wounded. There is always an off chance that CT's will still try for the garage stairs, though not likely. The main thing your keeping your eye out for is the main push by T forces into the garage. You should see 3-5 of them run past at the bottom stairs. Congrats, your job here is done.
Distractions-- B-RAD's talking about their "leet kill." A 12 year old asking in a high whiny voice whether "anyone can hear him on the mike."
45-90 seconds-- The Big Show. These 45 seconds may make or break the round for T's. Take a gander at your radar and notice that their are only 2 other blue dots anywhere in the office. All the other T's have rushed the garage. Jump up the stairs and position yourself to the left of the elevaters so you can peer into the restrooms. Peek down the long hall and knock down the 2 far left lockers with AK fire. This will give you a clear line of sight later on. Have no fear of throwing gernades down the hall from this point on. LiT zilong has already rushed the other staircase 20 seconds ago and blasted 3 with his shotgun before falling to a single USP bullet from CunningLinguist. Dont peek too far!!!! If you do there is a 50% chance that you will be sniped by, once again, SSP Phyxius. There is also a 50% chance you will be sniped by his alias "Hot Johnson." What you are looking for is that far right corner by the stairs. Ct's love to linger here in groups like lemmings. Sometimes they're playing cards, sometimes they're shooting dice against the wall. It doesnt matter, single burst your AK and throw a lot of gernades at them. There is a good chance you will kill a good 3 or 4 of them. Throw smoke if Phyxius is still popping shots.
Distractions-- everything, its very hectic at this point, keep your head in the game.
90-105 seconds-- Hallway clear? Run into the restrooms and look down the hall. A few T's crouched and waiting? CT's havnt gotten the nerve yet to push for the hosties. Help them out by attcking from the restroom.
Is the hallway clear when you ran into restroom? You can count on it that that a few EGG's have led a charge through here and are already inroute to the projector room. Double back to the spawn point. As your doubling back there is a 10% chance you'll run into a lone PNP member, probably Monos or Vyrallan, who lingered far too long at the overturned vending machine. You will likely be shot in the head. If your quiet though, you can here all the stolen diet cokes and quarters jingling in their flak vests. Drop him.
105- to end game-- Either the game ends here with CT's crunched in a vice or they are at the hosties. Remember we doubled back? Cut into the office supply room and pop the CT in the head talking to the last hosties. Now go hide behind the table and spray and pray the doors. You have 2 doors to watch so be vigilant. There is a really good chance you will kill an EGG member here. Probably MAc or Blessed Guardian. Expect some griping and complaining as they mumble things like, "thats bs or lucky punk". Dont worry about it, they arnt really mad at you. They're upset that WhiteChicken promised them immortality when they signed their EGG contracts. (alas, there can only be one! -- que cheesy Queen music) If the CT's are extra fast, you may of caught them by the elevaters on their way back too. Anyway you look at it, this is the time in the map where the "raw skill" comes into play. There arnt many people left and folks are going to judge you on if you can pull them through the map. Good luck to you.
Distractions-- there is .003% chance you will kill an =HR= guy here. Dont be scared! They are more afraid then you. If no =HR= guy is here, it means he has seen his shadow, and there is 6 more weeks of winter.
Now you should know 99% of the time where everyone is on the map to help you avoid TK'ing and throwing gernades properly.
About the author-- Jeff lives in Florida with his beautiful girlfriend and 2 dogs. He is also the author of "I didnt mean to throw the pin! A guide to Flashbangs." and "I poopsied all by myself! Requirements for joining SSP." He enjoys kayaking, bass fishing, and masterbating.
0-15 seconds--- outfit yourself with an Ak-47 and make your way from spawn, past the elevaters, and down the garage staircase. Ass-bump folks who arnt running with their guns out, time is crucial! If your lucky you will run across a really eager noob who thinks he can beat you up the stairs. Headshoot him and countinue on, unhindered.
Distractions: During this first few seconds 1-2, B-RAD Gluckmans will be chit-chatting on the mike with things like "yo...dawg, gonna get me some, this round yo." The other B-RAD will respond, "werd." This will irratate SSP-Redy who will shout " NOvoicespammingthemikeduringgameplaytime." He is angry though and speaking to fast. No one understands him. :( If Atomic Bob is on your team you may hear, " Lets do this one for the Gipper."
15-30 seconds--- the duel is on.... You've rounded the corner and see no one. Dont be fooled, CT's arnt going to give up garage that easily. There is a 50% Jwolly2 will pop his head around the corner. His m-4 makes a lot of noise but your well controlled AK is more powerful. Wound him and drive him off. There is also a 25% chance SSP - Phyxius will be crouched in the corner. If your a new player, congratulations on your 30 second round of office. Its over. If your a veteran, your both seriously wounded and pissed off.
Distractions-- Phyxius's bullets.
30-45 seconds-- hang out in this area if your not too wounded. There is always an off chance that CT's will still try for the garage stairs, though not likely. The main thing your keeping your eye out for is the main push by T forces into the garage. You should see 3-5 of them run past at the bottom stairs. Congrats, your job here is done.
Distractions-- B-RAD's talking about their "leet kill." A 12 year old asking in a high whiny voice whether "anyone can hear him on the mike."
45-90 seconds-- The Big Show. These 45 seconds may make or break the round for T's. Take a gander at your radar and notice that their are only 2 other blue dots anywhere in the office. All the other T's have rushed the garage. Jump up the stairs and position yourself to the left of the elevaters so you can peer into the restrooms. Peek down the long hall and knock down the 2 far left lockers with AK fire. This will give you a clear line of sight later on. Have no fear of throwing gernades down the hall from this point on. LiT zilong has already rushed the other staircase 20 seconds ago and blasted 3 with his shotgun before falling to a single USP bullet from CunningLinguist. Dont peek too far!!!! If you do there is a 50% chance that you will be sniped by, once again, SSP Phyxius. There is also a 50% chance you will be sniped by his alias "Hot Johnson." What you are looking for is that far right corner by the stairs. Ct's love to linger here in groups like lemmings. Sometimes they're playing cards, sometimes they're shooting dice against the wall. It doesnt matter, single burst your AK and throw a lot of gernades at them. There is a good chance you will kill a good 3 or 4 of them. Throw smoke if Phyxius is still popping shots.
Distractions-- everything, its very hectic at this point, keep your head in the game.
90-105 seconds-- Hallway clear? Run into the restrooms and look down the hall. A few T's crouched and waiting? CT's havnt gotten the nerve yet to push for the hosties. Help them out by attcking from the restroom.
Is the hallway clear when you ran into restroom? You can count on it that that a few EGG's have led a charge through here and are already inroute to the projector room. Double back to the spawn point. As your doubling back there is a 10% chance you'll run into a lone PNP member, probably Monos or Vyrallan, who lingered far too long at the overturned vending machine. You will likely be shot in the head. If your quiet though, you can here all the stolen diet cokes and quarters jingling in their flak vests. Drop him.
105- to end game-- Either the game ends here with CT's crunched in a vice or they are at the hosties. Remember we doubled back? Cut into the office supply room and pop the CT in the head talking to the last hosties. Now go hide behind the table and spray and pray the doors. You have 2 doors to watch so be vigilant. There is a really good chance you will kill an EGG member here. Probably MAc or Blessed Guardian. Expect some griping and complaining as they mumble things like, "thats bs or lucky punk". Dont worry about it, they arnt really mad at you. They're upset that WhiteChicken promised them immortality when they signed their EGG contracts. (alas, there can only be one! -- que cheesy Queen music) If the CT's are extra fast, you may of caught them by the elevaters on their way back too. Anyway you look at it, this is the time in the map where the "raw skill" comes into play. There arnt many people left and folks are going to judge you on if you can pull them through the map. Good luck to you.
Distractions-- there is .003% chance you will kill an =HR= guy here. Dont be scared! They are more afraid then you. If no =HR= guy is here, it means he has seen his shadow, and there is 6 more weeks of winter.
Now you should know 99% of the time where everyone is on the map to help you avoid TK'ing and throwing gernades properly.
About the author-- Jeff lives in Florida with his beautiful girlfriend and 2 dogs. He is also the author of "I didnt mean to throw the pin! A guide to Flashbangs." and "I poopsied all by myself! Requirements for joining SSP." He enjoys kayaking, bass fishing, and masterbating.