she was so blond

[=nsn=ASH]

She was Soooooooo Blonde . . .
* She thought a quarterback was a refund.
* She thought General Motors was in the army.
* She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats
* She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
* At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign here:" she wrote "Sagittarius."
* She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
* She sent a fax with a stamp on it.
* Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics." She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "Concentrate."
* She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
* She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
* She studied for a blood test.
* She sold the car for gas money.
* When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.
* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
* When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
* She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
* She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
* She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front."

[=nsn=ASH]

FIRST DEGREE

A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.

The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and

said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?"

The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast

is clear."



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SECOND DEGREE

Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the

sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror

and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."

The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!"

So the first blonde hands her the compact.

The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"



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THIRD DEGREE

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and

buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens

the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is

really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she

does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her

head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"

The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

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FOURTH DEGREE

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly

says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK, what's! the capital of Wisconsin ?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

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FIFTH DEGREE

What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?

"Is it mine?"



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SIXTH DEGREE

Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US

government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade

was about.

Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision

George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

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SEVENTH DEGREE



Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked

and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit,

patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached

the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch,

shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my

possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do?

They send me a BLIND policeman."