The Leviathon
04-20-2005, 03:44 AM
-in honor of jeff's ak guide to office (immitation is the sincerest form of flattery)
Gear: Do not buy flashbangs, smoke, grenades a kit, or a better secondary pistol then your usp. Armor (with helmet) an m4 and 3 extra clips is all you will need.
Spawn: Yell at everyone for getting killed last round and/or taking all the kills. If anyone tells you to relax or shut up, tell them you are going to shoot them in the family (this will confuse them long enough for you to get out of spawn) If an admin tells you to relax or shut up, apologize and claim it was “constructive criticism” also tell them you are going to shoot them in the family after you have turned off the microphone (you’ll feel better and wont get slapped or kicked) -run towards A bombsite (the one that does not require going through any double doors) place the silencer on your usp
A Site: Do not enter bridge room, doing so would risk getting shot by a extremely fast terrorist who knows how to handle a scout (grim comes to mind) or even sporadic weapons fire from someone rushing the water (like goldragon) also, it’s a tight spot, so it’s the perfect place to throw a nade into. Anyway, run under the arch towards the main opening and note the 3 doorways that are filled in with slag where did these doors lead to you ask? SHUT UP! NO QUESTIONS!
Slag: switch to your knife, move to the middle slagged doorway, and recall the hl 1 single player training. if you don’t remember or never played hl, shame on you! Wait for a terrorist to come kill your undeserving self! Read no further! Now, remember the jump crouch (yes you already do that a lot in cs, but I wanted to remind everyone that hl was a great game) use your expert jump crouch to jump into the upper left corner of the slag, just below the top of the door. Crouch into the corner as far as you can and then turn around
In Place: if the terrorists are gallivanting through the double doors at the end of the walk way, shoot them. if no terrorists rushed the double doors, turn your focus to the radar, note where your teammates are and where the dots are disappearing – use the microphone to share any incite you have “bridge room needs back up” “we have no one in the water” “stop dying!” are all good things to say to your team. Aim your m4 at the far pillar that is not supporting anything, this way, the close ramp from water, DD, and both exits from ct bridge room are visible. Sit and wait
Mid Match: continue to berate your teammates, continue to note radar, if your teammates call for back up in water or bridge room, relay message to team, and use radio chatter “Affirmative” but do not actually help them yourself. Stay put, your teammates on the bridge or in the water will eventually die to the hands of some ak toting maniacs like “eject” and “jeff from hr” if there was a breakthrough in the water turn your attention to the snipit of the far ramp you can see, make sure none of terrorists pause while looking in your direction. If any do, pray its not phyxius and carefully aim for their head you want to kill them with your first two shots so they don’t get a chance to tell all there chums that there is some schmo on the slag. If it is phyxius, congratulations, you are dead.
End Game: by this time, there shouldn’t be many people alive, usually two or three hardcore t’s have broken through to the B bombsite or are duking it out in the ct bridge room, sometimes, however, they are duking it out right in front of you. Shoot them! Shoot any that look at you first! If the planted the bomb at B, wait at least ten seconds, and then run through ct spawn with your m4 out (remove the silencer) clear out both the interior rooms enroute to the B bombsite and move out the doors sideways so as not to be visible from the outside corner of the left door (there’s always someone there eagerly awaiting a view at your cheek.) if there is no one to shoot from this view, jump out and as far past the doorway you can, turning your aim to the above mentioned spot. Remember to shoot as soon as you can, whether or not there is someone there. After you killed jeff, run as fast as you can back to ct spawn (knife out) so you don’t get blown up. After respawn, claim you couldn’t have diffused in time anyway and then yell at your team for dying.
-Repeat-
Gear: Do not buy flashbangs, smoke, grenades a kit, or a better secondary pistol then your usp. Armor (with helmet) an m4 and 3 extra clips is all you will need.
Spawn: Yell at everyone for getting killed last round and/or taking all the kills. If anyone tells you to relax or shut up, tell them you are going to shoot them in the family (this will confuse them long enough for you to get out of spawn) If an admin tells you to relax or shut up, apologize and claim it was “constructive criticism” also tell them you are going to shoot them in the family after you have turned off the microphone (you’ll feel better and wont get slapped or kicked) -run towards A bombsite (the one that does not require going through any double doors) place the silencer on your usp
A Site: Do not enter bridge room, doing so would risk getting shot by a extremely fast terrorist who knows how to handle a scout (grim comes to mind) or even sporadic weapons fire from someone rushing the water (like goldragon) also, it’s a tight spot, so it’s the perfect place to throw a nade into. Anyway, run under the arch towards the main opening and note the 3 doorways that are filled in with slag where did these doors lead to you ask? SHUT UP! NO QUESTIONS!
Slag: switch to your knife, move to the middle slagged doorway, and recall the hl 1 single player training. if you don’t remember or never played hl, shame on you! Wait for a terrorist to come kill your undeserving self! Read no further! Now, remember the jump crouch (yes you already do that a lot in cs, but I wanted to remind everyone that hl was a great game) use your expert jump crouch to jump into the upper left corner of the slag, just below the top of the door. Crouch into the corner as far as you can and then turn around
In Place: if the terrorists are gallivanting through the double doors at the end of the walk way, shoot them. if no terrorists rushed the double doors, turn your focus to the radar, note where your teammates are and where the dots are disappearing – use the microphone to share any incite you have “bridge room needs back up” “we have no one in the water” “stop dying!” are all good things to say to your team. Aim your m4 at the far pillar that is not supporting anything, this way, the close ramp from water, DD, and both exits from ct bridge room are visible. Sit and wait
Mid Match: continue to berate your teammates, continue to note radar, if your teammates call for back up in water or bridge room, relay message to team, and use radio chatter “Affirmative” but do not actually help them yourself. Stay put, your teammates on the bridge or in the water will eventually die to the hands of some ak toting maniacs like “eject” and “jeff from hr” if there was a breakthrough in the water turn your attention to the snipit of the far ramp you can see, make sure none of terrorists pause while looking in your direction. If any do, pray its not phyxius and carefully aim for their head you want to kill them with your first two shots so they don’t get a chance to tell all there chums that there is some schmo on the slag. If it is phyxius, congratulations, you are dead.
End Game: by this time, there shouldn’t be many people alive, usually two or three hardcore t’s have broken through to the B bombsite or are duking it out in the ct bridge room, sometimes, however, they are duking it out right in front of you. Shoot them! Shoot any that look at you first! If the planted the bomb at B, wait at least ten seconds, and then run through ct spawn with your m4 out (remove the silencer) clear out both the interior rooms enroute to the B bombsite and move out the doors sideways so as not to be visible from the outside corner of the left door (there’s always someone there eagerly awaiting a view at your cheek.) if there is no one to shoot from this view, jump out and as far past the doorway you can, turning your aim to the above mentioned spot. Remember to shoot as soon as you can, whether or not there is someone there. After you killed jeff, run as fast as you can back to ct spawn (knife out) so you don’t get blown up. After respawn, claim you couldn’t have diffused in time anyway and then yell at your team for dying.
-Repeat-